A long trail of recovery…


It has been quite some time since I’ve posted here.  My family and I had a wonderful vacation in Florida for two weeks, and I was expecting to be able to post about sweetness and light and fun at Disneyland.  I was all set to return to my normal routine of running and badminton, went out of nowhere something knocked me down.  I was at work, talking to some of my colleagues, and in the middle of the conversation I started to feel dizzy.  ” I’ve felt dizzy before”, I said.  “This will pass”.  It didn’t.  It hasn’t.

The dizziness became so extreme that I was nauseous.  Once I was truly scared, I asked for help from some of my coworkers.  An ambulance was called, I spent a ridiculous amount of time on a gurney in a hospital in Mississauga, and I was seen very quickly by a doctor who advised me I had vertigo – a conclusion I had already arrived at.

While it was happening, it felt exactly like when I suffered from nitrogen narcosis while diving 10 years ago; the only thing that kept going through my mind while it was happening was that it was vertigo.  I had no idea that art itself be so extreme, so severe, and so debilitating.  Don’t let it happen to you!

The following day I spent in bed sleeping.  A minor triumph on the Sunday, as I was able to walk downstairs and sit on a couch.  I was also able to read, which became my lifeline and nearly sole pastime.  I wasn’t able to use a computer, I was able to fix anything to eat, but at least I had that.  I stayed off the next week, slowly getting better.  Apparently the folks I work with all figured I had a heart attack or had collapsed due to my weight loss, and an associated lack of energy due to dieting.  (HA!)

The thing is, I haven’t fully recovered, and it was 4 weeks yesterday.  I believe what I had was the benign positional vertigo, which is temporary and will eventually pass.  However it’s been four weeks since it hit me, and I’m getting so frustrated.  10 days ago I finally began running again.  Last night was my first time back it badminton and over six weeks, counting the time I was on vacation.  I’ve missed both so very much, and I’m not treasuring each time I run – something I never thought would happen.  I catch myself smiling, almost laughing at the end of a hard run, letting the feeling of freedom, the feeling of my legs moving, my arms pumping, my breathing hard.  I never thought I would love, or miss, running as much as I do.

Near as I can tell, I think I had (have!) vestibular neuronitis.  I hope it is nothing more serious.  I’ve found that the exercise helps – it’s like any other part of your body, it seems.  Work it, get it in shape again.  Who knows.  I just know that I don’t want it to happen again.  Ever.  It is awful.

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